Our family

Our family

Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Journey- Part 4


My Psalm...

Shortly after we found out we’d have to move off of Calumet Farm by July 1st,  and at the time had just begun looking into this job up north,  I began to search.  I didn’t know what I was searching for exactly… answers, peace, clear signs… who knows.  Then one Sunday in May I was in my Sunday school class for the quarterly breakfast/prayer journal share.  It was an emotional morning as many of the ladies began to share their struggles, pains, joys, excitement over what God had been teaching them each in their prayer time over the past few months.  One lady was particularly emotional with some things going on and another lady offered this advice, “Find your psalm”.  Huh?  I had never heard that before. She went on to explain that during her darkest days her big brother had suggested she “find her psalm”, something that God would give her to cling to.  The only way she knew how to do this was to go through and read the entire book of Psalms and see what jumped out at her.  So she did.  Twice.  Finally, in the middle of the night the same verse kept coming to her and she looked it up and there it was. Her Psalm.

I began thinking about this.  I needed a Psalm.  I wanted something to cling to.  I had been wanting answers and just reading through my normal study didn’t seem to be giving me what I needed.  So I began reading….

Did you know that the book of Psalms contains 150 chapters?  1-5-0… yep, that was a lot.  Granted, many are very short and quick, but some are very long….  As I began reading nothing was happening.  I would read 10 or so chapters a day and nothing… every now and then I would like a verse, mark it in my notes and come back to it, but nothing… About 2 weeks of this went on…  then I found it.  My Psalm.  The special word God had given me to cling to….

Psalm 84

How lovely is your dwelling place,

O Lord Almight!

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and flesh cry out

for the living God.



Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young-
                                                             a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;

they are ever praising you.



Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

they go from strength to strength,

til each appears before God in Zion.



Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;

listen to me, O God of Jacob.

Look upon our shield, O God;

look with favor on your anointed one.



Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.



O Lord Almighty,

blessed is the man who trusts in you.



I highlighted the parts that really caught my attention.  First of all, I thought if the birds have found homes then certainly God has a home for my family too.  I also read in my footnotes that “Baca” can mean weeping (Valley of Weeping).  So as people struggle on their way towards God they can also grow in strength through the springs and pools.  That was key for me because I knew the upcoming months would be a struggle for me…

The month of May, and even June, brought much weeping.  I’ll be honest, Matt and I really struggled with each other and I struggled with everything.  I was super emotional and really having a hard time dealing with the idea of moving again- especially moving to Ohio.  These verses really helped.  I have now set my sights on pilgrimage and I am now waiting for all those tears to turn to springs and pools where I can go from strength to strength.

That’s life anyways right?  Hills and valleys, deserts and streams…. So much hope though in the fact that we get new strength from God all the time!

Throughout May and June I would come across several other verses that gave me hope for our future.  But this Psalm was what I clinged to, still do.  This psalm was like the opening of the floodgates of all God was about to teach us and put us through. 

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